When comparing rifle rounds and shotguns, remember that typically, shotgun shells are loaded with very fast powders which tend go give more of a "pop" recoil. Rifles with slow burning powder (Hodgon H110) being a personal favorite if you are a handloader) give more of a "shove" which reduces "perceived" recoil. I had an old break open 12 gauge that was nothing but a pure punisher. On the other hand, it took three rounds of a 375 H&H rifle before I had to call it quits. But all three of those rounds felt like a big shove that through both shoulders back.

I think the 44 is a much better choice. If you want to start out easy, find the lightest bullet you can in 44 special.

Or give me a shout at 93flareside@gmail.com and we can put some light loads together for her. I've done it many times for handgun shooters. I've got a 38 load that kicks about like a 22!