Hunting my place

Question for everyone. I own my hunting ground of my own. I didn't hunt opening weekend of firearms so my father in law hunted out of my stand opening day and killed a 9 pointer. Yesterday I hauled my butt home from town to hunt in the evening. I pull into my driveway at 4 pm and there's my father in laws suv. Of course he is in my stand again even though he already killed a buck and he never called or texted to tell us he was planning to come hunt. I got ready and went out anyway and went to a different stand. 20 minutes later he shoots. Shoots again, I climbed down in disgust. I haven't killed a deer this year. I went back to the house and changed clothes. I hear another shot. Turns out he shot 2 does from my stand last night. That's 3 deer for him and nothing for me. All 3 deer he killed out of my stand. Needless to say I am absolutely furious with him. How do you tell a family member that you don't appreciate his behavior? It's my language, my stand. He killed a buck already. Am I out of line for being so upset about it? It really makes me want to just quit hunting. If I tell him he can no longer hunt in my woods that will cause nothing but family conflict and drama.It's not worth it over deer. I'm just really frustrated. It would be one thing if he would at least show me the respect to call or text before he came up instead of just showing up and helping himself to my stand.....again. Thoughts?

I bet your his favorite son inlaw about right now if that matters.

Hunting and family can get dicey for sure....good luck.

Did you set up any ground rules when you allowed him to hunt?.. If not, then don't be mad him for it you have only yourself to blame...

Also, you lost more then 3 deer from your woods...
Those two does could have both produced twins next year so you lost up to six deer so it might take a couple of seasons to get your numbers back up...

I hunt at my buddy place (didn't this year) but I am more than welcome to go down anytime I want but I always text my buddy's wife to let her know I'm coming down so she knows I'll be there but I also do it out of respect for them and their property...

I recommend next year if you allow him to hunt on your property that he notifies you in advance so you know he will be there and you can instruct him to not use your stand and I would institute a one and done policy... You harvest one, and you are done hunting on the property for the rest of the year...

Have a heart to heart and get it figured out. He's probably oblivious and living the dream. You need to nail down if he can go by himself or otherwise and frequency of hunts. Hash out antler limits, antler less, etc. Life's short, try to work it out....if it's a relationship that's worth it. Like Brew mentioned your popular with him, you may get a heck of a nice Christmas present.

Always set the rules first.

Such as, always ask EACH time you want to go
NO FRIENDS
number and sex of deer he is allowed etc

As already mentioned (twice)..... set the rules up front. If you did do that and he overstepped then you've gotta have that tough "WTH" discussion. No ground rules makes this a learning moment (sorry man). I also agree with trapper that part of the ground rules for the future should include ' always ask each time prior'. After all, if you own the property you get to make the rules.

I laid out basic ground rules 6 years ago when I bought the place.

#1 - No trespassing. If you shoot a deer and it runs onto a neighbors property then we have to do the right thing and contact them before retrieving it. Can't piss the neighbors off.

#2 - No button bucks

#3 - Let myself or my wife know before you come up so we don't bump into each other in the pre-dawn darkness.

That was pretty much it. I have a total of 12.5 acres, 5 of which is the northeast corner of a 90 acre block of woods. So in reality I have only 5 huntable acres of land. It's not much but its in the right location and we kill deer every year back there. Part of the problem is that he is a meat hunter and I am a buck hunter. I would only shoot a doe if I need the meat or if there are way too many deer in the area and right now there aren't. I am fine with not shooting a deer because I am holding out for a decent buck. To me, on my land, a decent buck is an 8 pointer or bigger at least even with the ears. I have killed two really nice bucks in my life, one of which scored 167" so I could care less about simply killing a deer. If that was my goal I would have tagged out in early archery. My father-in-law however, for him its all about "if its brown its down." I don't care much for that philosophy personally but that's my choice and on my ground it's my rules. If you don't like it, buy your own land and hunt that however you want.

I can't say I disagree with anything people have said. It's your property and it should be your rules, but......how does your wife feel about this?Is she willing to go along with talking to her father or is it going to cause a major rift between the two of you?

I don't envy your situation, but hopefully you can all talk it out without a problem.

Good luck to you.

First of all, I'm a dick when it comes to either a lease or if I would own land... I'd lay down the rules and let him know what he did wasnt appreciated, tell him he's done for the year and I'll let him know IF he can even hunt there again come NEXT season, and IF he does, he's one and done, buck or Doe, kill ONE and no more and he will only hunt when he gets the OK from me....

Communication is key. Talk to him.

Well, my wife is disappointed in him too. She thinks it's "BS" that he just showed up without telling anyone and jumped into my stand. So at least she is on my side on that issue.

This just isn't something I thought I would ever have to deal with when I bought my own ground. I used to lease 500 acres in Putnam County and later a lease on 600 acres in Parke County. Both properties had phenominal hunting and we never had any interpersonal issues like this amongst the 4 of us that leased those properties. I gave all of that up so that I could own my own hunting ground.

I wish I could afford a bigger parcel of ground but I'm just at the limit of what I can afford. I will say this though, Turkey season is a joy. My wife and I are the only ones that hunt turkey on my property and we have a bunch of them around. I watched 13 Toms walk out of my woods last night into the neighbors field. During turkey I can sit and enjoy my place without intrusion. The down side of course is that I can't "run and gun." It's 5 acres. LOL Pick a spot, set out a deke or two and call as lovingly as possible and hope that a lonely Tom shows interest. But hey, its enjoyable and we did bag two Toms this past spring so it's entirely possible to be successful.

No doubt he will want to talk to me when we go to his place for Christmas. I think I will just tell him, "look, you have to communicate. You have to let us know if you are planning to come up. Especially if you've already bagged a buck." I can't kick him out. It would just cause way too much conflict. But if he pulls this BS again next year there will be a problem. By the way, he is done for the rest of this season.

It's Your land, you need to communicate YOUR expectations/rules. You can't wait for him to ask, then get mad when he does as he pleases and does not ask for how many/which deer to harvest.

BTW, How much hunting pressure do you want on your 5 acre parcel?

Absolutely!

Just be polite and firm and clearly lay it out there, let him know your expectations for next year....right now he probably thinks you're great! Do it right and he still will and you will have great hunting next year and so will he....

Allow me. He is being rude and inconsiderate as ****! He is taking advantage of the situation and HE knows it. He is challenging you to say something. I would have no issue addressing this with him. The only one you really have to be concerned with is Momma and you have said she is basically on your side.
If you don't address it, its on you.

I have an update to this story. After a sudden illness my father in law passed away on December 23rd. He was 61 years old. Kinda puts things in perspective doesn't it? I feel pretty guilty for being so upset with him. Tough times.....

My condolences. I lost my F-I-L in March '16 at 69 years old. That's too young to die. 61 is really too young. At least he got to kill a few deer his last season Perhaps God was smiling down on him and gifted those 3 deer to him?

Happy New Year.

Your last sentence definitely puts things in perspective, and thanks for the reminder that sometimes the things we feel are so important pale in comparison to the truly larger issues in life.

My condolences to you, your wife and the rest of the family.

Wow!!, my condolences as well. A few thoughts.....

1- don't beat yourself up about being upset that he did something that was bothersome
2- things like this always help put things in perspective (remember, being able to come home from work each day, to a family, to a home, with the ability to hunt & enjoy your passions, these are first-World problems!)
3- give thanks for the times you were able to spend together and don't let this last action tarnish the memories
4- as John indicated, perhaps these three deer were a last minute gift to your FIL.... then again, I believe EVERY deer I've harvested is a gift from God! (humbly) my success afield is not due from my personal prowess but rather from His blessings

I agree

Sorry to hear of your families loss aimlow.....enjoy the good memories that you shared.

My condolences also, None of us have a crystal ball to see the future. Just remember, its always better to be upfront and straight forward when dealing with people, friends and especially family. Not rude, just upfront. Always explain the rules also from the start, again not rude just be clear. I've had to learn this also over the years.
Again my blessings on your family's loss.

Sorry for your loss

If i may...

I have officiated 8 funerals in the past 6 weeks, 3 this past weekend and have 2 more this week. At just about each one, there were converstaions about "I wish I woulda, coulda'..."

I would simply say: don't beat yourself up over being upset. Yes, his passing brought up perspectives, but it sounded like there needed to be a calm graceful conversation. Family is always tough but sometimes there needs to be a conversation. There is nothing wrong with that.

Focus on the fact he was successful and the good stuff from your relationship. We all have crap we wish we could do over or do differently. I am sorry for your loss. Stuff like that sucks. I pray you will have peace with all of this. Give me a holler if ya need anything.

If it was your father, I would say something else. An in-law..... I would tell him that he used up his quota for the next 3 years. Tell him that you have a 1 deer limit and he used up 3 years worth.

You can say it jokingly, but mean it. You can tell him outright, that he took a lot of deer so you are hunting it exclusively next year.

I would tell him outright NOT wait until next year to come around. Just let him know... You're banned for 2 years. Period.

When ever I hunted on other peoples' property, I always ask if there is a particular deer that is reserved, if there is a large buck that they see all the time that I am not allowed to shoot or if they have a preference... etc.

If I am anything, it is super respectful of land owners. That's just me, though. Some people take advantage of situations and people and chalk it up as a "win" even if they lose in the long run. It sounds like your father in law is just like this.

I'd keep a property that small to myself only, however as it is maybe tell him you get one deer per year off the place, then you're done. Also, you have to communicate every time before coming to my place hunting.